Monday, March 26, 2012

January 2012 Read - Handbook on Thriving as an Adoptive Family

If you recall I am making it a goal this year to get through some books that have been on my to do list, along with others I want to re-read.  Handbook on Thriving as an Adoptive Family was first on the list. 

I liked how they broke it down by the universal issues, then onto age specific issues and ending with special challenges a family may come across.  They used real families that explained what they have encountered and learned along the way.  In addition there was expert advice on different issues.  It gives the reader ways to handle situations you might run into.  For example:
  •  "An adoptive father is often asked if his son gets his eyes from him or his mother.  He might reply, "God gave him his beautiful eyes.""
  • "There is part of the adoptee's heart that can never be adopted; the part forever connected to the birthparents and birth history.  The loss has its own pain, and parents who adopt are therefore summoned to journey with their children through the sadness and even the anger that loss creates."
I also liked the fact this it is faith based referencing the God who created the gift of adoption. 
  • "We cannot change a child's past, but we can cooperate with the Holy Spirit and help to affect the years to come with God's grace and guidance"
  • "When we adopted Phoebe, I caught a glimpse of what it must be like for God when someone asks Jesus into his or her heart.  Think about it:  Someone spends everything he has to save a person the world was ready to throw away.  A life everyone thinks worthless is suddenly worth everything.  No wonder there is joy in the presences of the angels when sinners repent!"
  • "Perhaps the most important message to convey to your adopted child as any stage is this: You are God's prized possession (1 Corinthians 6:19-20)"
  • "(If you don't know, remind them that God knows where the birthparents are, and He is caring for them.)"
I think this is a great book for those considering adoption along with families who have already adopted.  Even though I had read many books prior to our adoptions, this one touched me personally because our son did this exact thing and it was hard.  I know now what could have caused this when we brought him home at 5 months old:
  • "For example, parents sometimes report the powerful protest of newly adopted infants who arch their tiny backs and actively fight the embrace of their new parents.  They are absolutely refusing to accept the loss of their original caregivers and first environments." 
I have so many yellow tabs and highlighted areas.  The only thing I would say is if you are not currently going through the issue, it will be best to review as you get closer to those periods in life.  I will be keeping this close by as my children go through the years.

So this will definitely be one to recommend on the topic of adoption.  I didn't want to put it down because I just loved to hear all the stories and learn how to help my children as they grow.

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